Former New Jersey Nets big man Jayson Williams was one of the higher regarded players of the 1990 NBA draft after having a successful career at St. John’sUniversity. Williams was taken 21st, but bounced around from team to team for nine years before retiring due to injuries. Not a very notable career, but Williams cut his criminal teeth during his playing days, smashing a beer mug over some guy’s head in a Chicago bar in 1992. He was later accused of firing off a few rounds from a semiautomatic weapon in the Meadowlands parking lot. But this is where the fun stops. In 2002, Williams was giving a tour of his lavish 30,000 square foot mansion when the shotgun he was showing off went off accidentally and shot and killed limo driver Costas Christofi. Williams was taser-ed in a New York City hotel after becoming suicidal and violent and a few months later punching a man in the face at a bar. A week before his sentencing he was charged with DWI after an accident. Williams pleaded guilty to aggravated assault. February 23, 2010, he was sentenced to 5 years in prison with possible parole after 18 months,standard for killing someone I believe. (If you are a former or current millionaire athlete.)
The shooting raises many questions
#1: What exactly do you have to do in the NBA to get a 30,000 square foot house? Williams was a bust in the 1990 draft and
didn’t exactly do much in his NBA career.
#2: Why did the trial just end a few weeks ago when the tour consisted of an entire basketball team of witnesses?
#3: Who is Jayson Williams?
Answers:
#1: The 30,000 square foot mansion is given out to anyone who is freakishly huge and can jump one foot off the ground.
#2: The trial actually was settled with a $2.75 million settlement in 2003. In 2006, an appeals court decided to retry
Williams for reckless manslaughter and was delayed many times before finally reaching it’s end on January 11, 2010.
#3: A dangerous, overweight, NBA bust.
2) Adam "Pacman" Jones
Although a frequent delinquent, Pacman etched his place in athletic criminal history. While at club Minxx in Las Vegas, Nevada, Jones is alleged to have been involved in an altercation with a dancer. By "dancer" I am referring to the kind that de-clothes and then dances around a stage for dollar bills -- I believe the laymen refer to these classy dames as "strippers." Anyway, apparently Pacman strolled into the club with upwards of $80,000 (such a baller) and throughout the night he proceeded to "make it rain" all over the dance floor. What's even more ballin' is that Pacman instructed his cronies to pick up the money once some of the dancers attempted to gather the bills and stuff them deep within their cervixes. Apparently, when Jones noticed the girls grabbing the money he threw at them -- God forbid they assumed it was for them -- he "allegedly" slammed one of the female's heads off the dance floor. The fun didn't stop there, however. Once outside, one of Pacman's "alleged" pals decided to open fire in a crowd, injuring two men and leaving Tommy Urbanski paralyzed from the waist down. Pacman managed to elude any jail time but this incident resulted in the NFL suspending him for a year and his career has been in the dumps since.3) Food, Cocaine, and basketball: A love story. By Shawn Kemp
Onetime NBA star Shawn Kemp, in addition to various cocaine arrests, is the preeminent sire of illegitimate children. In the late ‘90s Sports Illustrated reported that Kemp was facing paternity suits over seven illegitimates, and now that he’s out of the league you figure he has even more time to have unprotected sex with women he is not married to. In the 1990’s, there were three basketball teams: The Chicago Bulls, the Utah Jazz, and the Seattle Supersonics. Chicago had MJ, the Jazz had Karl Malone and John Stockton, and the city of Seattle saw a substantial birth rate increase.The Reign Man Shawn Kemp was a force in the league in the 1990’s and led his team to an NBA finals appearance. He had brought basketball back to the city of Seattle and was one of the premiere players of his day. In his twilight years, Kemp saw his weight balloon from 250 to 275 and was eventually traded to Cleveland where he would keep tacking on pounds, as well as illegitimate children. It was reported as of 1998 that Kemp had fathered seven children. And in 2005, Kemp was arrested for cocaine, 60 grams of marijuana, and a semiautomatic pistol.4) Ron Mexico, eh sorry, Michael Vick.
In March 2005, Sonya Elliott filed a civil lawsuit against Vick alleging she contracted genital herpes and cottage cheese crotch, due to - unprotected sex with a millionare athlete, good idea?. Elliot further alleged that Vick had visited clinics under the alias "Ron Mexico" to get treatments and thus knew of his condition. Many fans bought custom jerseys from NFL.com with Vick's number 7 and the name "MEXICO" on the back, people are sick, the NFL banned customizing jerseys with the name Mexico before I could get mine. Dog lovers the world over hate this man and I suppose it's with good cause. Mike was the ringleader of an illegal dog fighting operation. If a dog lost or was too beat up from the fight, the dog got killed. Vick was convicted of this heinous crime and sentenced to some hard anal time behind bars. The good news is that Vick claims to be rehabilitated and even found Jesus while behind bars (Not Gee-zus, but hay-zues, vicks new latino lover). Although Vick failed a drug test for marijuana while behind bars, my suspicion is that Vick and his posse smoked large amounts of crack prior to bludgeoning the dogs. What Mike Vick did was wrong, it was terrible, and disgusting. But he paid his debt to society and is now back in the NFL so he slides back to number 4 on my list. Mr. Mexico lost an estimated 135 million dollars because of the dog fightin incident. GET EM!
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